But finding friends remotely can prove challenging, too. As you probably know, introversion simply refers to the way you get your energy. Ask yourself whether you really want more friends or merely believe you should have them. But perhaps some of the articles suggesting extroverted people are happier and better off kick-started your motivation to make friends.
One study , for example, gave a series of personality and trait assessments to 1, adults of varying ages and made a few key discoveries:. Based on these results, study authors connected higher-quality social relationships and strong emotional regulation skills indirectly to greater happiness.
As noted by the study mentioned above, high-quality relationships appear to offer the most benefits. Say you have strong relationships with your family and one good friend. You get along with your co-workers but feel perfectly satisfied to say goodbye at the end of the day. You can make polite conversation as needed but feel no particular need to get to know most people you meet. Seeking out people with similar interests in hobbies, activities, or schools of thought can be key to creating lasting bonds.
Even though these activities are often thought of as solo hobbies, you can still find a community who shares your interests.
Why not make an effort to talk to that classmate who always makes insightful comments or mention how much you loved the book you noticed on their desk? Branching out can have benefits, too. Many people also find opportunities for connection while volunteering or participating in other community events.
But if you enjoy yourself, show up again and try connecting with someone you recognize. You can also turn to the internet to make friends. Sticking to friendships with people who have mostly the same ideas can sometimes limit you and your view of the world.
You may not shine your brightest in group settings or lay your feelings down on the table for all to see, but you have other valuable things to offer. Take some time to examine your own traits and acknowledge things you do well. Your strong points might rest in certain personality traits , behaviors, or skills. The important thing to realize is that everyone has different strengths.
Your strengths might appeal to another introvert who recognizes a kindred spirit, but they could also complement the contrasting traits of a more extroverted person. As you work on developing new relationships, try to keep in perspective just how much time and energy you actually have to give. Many introverted people do have several close friends, but the fact remains that introverts will always need time to recharge alone. Friends fulfill important social and emotional needs , but interaction can still drain your resources.
This can add an entirely different kind of stress to your social life. Setting limits around the time you spend with others can help you avoid burnout. It never hurts to start seeking connections in the things you already do. Getting to know someone generally starts with the simple act of listening to what they say. Many introverts do this already, so try to take it a step further and offer something in return. Instead, why not lean into your inclination to search for kindred spirits?
One way to do this is to seek out structured versions of activities that you already do and enjoy. You can find such activities through the message board at your local coffee shop, meetup sites, or event pages on social media. If you love hiking, look for organizations like the Appalachian Mountain Club in the eastern United States that organize small group hikes. If reading is your jam, see if your local library or bookstore hosts book clubs or author events.
After all, if you start the group, you can do it on your terms. Only free on Monday nights? Then you can start a group that meets on Mondays. Feel burned out after spending time in large groups?
Why not start something small? There are two types of groups you should consider:. If you love something, chances are other people in your area do too. Those people will be so excited when they find out about your new group. Try a little mental time travel and make a list of former friends you might like to get back in touch with — and then reach out.
How have things been? There are a couple of ways to deal with that fear:. Introverts can be quiet and reserved and often need someone a little more extroverted to draw them out by asking questions or initiating conversations with them. Because they may not speak up unless asked, opening the door to a conversation can help move your friendship forward. Not taking time to make new friends is one of the top reasons adults make fewer friends than younger people.
It can be healthy for introverts to expand their comfort zone and learn to act in more extroverted ways. In research, extroversion has been linked to higher levels of social status and success, proving that this is a valued trait in our culture. If you are a person who is naturally more extroverted, it will be important for you and your introverted friend to find a balance in your relationship.
This may mean making some compromises to find ways to spend time together doing the things you each enjoy. If you are naturally more extroverted, you may need to be clear about your expectations in friendships with an introvert.
Otherwise, you may not get your emotional needs met, and the relationship can become balanced and unhealthy. Most of us need close relationships to be happy, but introverted people tend to meet their social needs differently than extroverts, [ 1 ] with extroverts seeking out more social contact.
Some of the traits, habits, and qualities of an introvert include: [ 1 ]. Social anxiety is not related to temperament and is instead a common, treatable mental health condition that some people overlook. People with this condition tend to have an extreme fear of social interactions, rejection, or public embarrassment and may go to great lengths to avoid interactions.
Introverts sometimes get a bad reputation for being stand-offish or antisocial, but this is often untrue. Being friends with an introvert can be difficult, especially for people who are naturally more outgoing, but it can still be deeply rewarding.
As long as both people are willing to work a little harder to relate and connect, introverts and extroverts can become great friends and can even help to keep each other balanced. Introverts tend to prefer deeper connections over superficial relationships, which sometimes results in a higher quality friendship. Introverts make great friends because they are careful in selecting their companions and highly value the people they choose to spend time with.
Opposites can attract, and introverts and extroverts can actually help to balance each other out. Getting along with introverts is the same as getting along with anyone. Show them kindness, respect, and curiosity.
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